JHI Dvar Torah on Parshat Chaye Sarah

REGRETABLE REGRETS

The end of the previous week’s Parsha describes the ‘almost sacrifice’ of Yitzchak (Isaac). Parshat Chayeh Sarah begins with a description of the death of Sarah and her burial. Why were the two incidents juxtaposed? It was because the first events led to the second ones. Sarah heard that her son Yitzchak was brought by his father Avraham (Abraham) upon an alter as a sacrifice to G-d. This caused an instant reaction of profound sadness. Sarah was then told that an angel intervened at the last moment and that Yitzchak was alive and well. The sudden and massive emotional ‘down and up’ was so intense that Sarah died as a result (Commentary of Rashi, Parshat Chaye Sarah 23:3).

The Torah writes that after eulogizing Sarah, Avraham (Abraham), “Rose from before his dead one” (Parshat Chyeh Sarah, ibid.). The meaning of these words is unclear. In what way did he ‘rise,’ and why was it significant? The Midrash (Midrash Rabbah, Chayeh Sarah 23:6) explains that the Torah is alluding to an unusual event that occurred at that moment. Avraham saw the Angel of Death hovering over Sarah. For that reason, he quickly took leave of Sarah’s body and proceeded to the next step of the process which was to acquire Sarah’s burial plot.

The Midrash itself, however, requires explanation. Why is it important to know that Avraham saw the Angel of Death and that he therefore went elsewhere? (Presumably, anyone seeing that dreaded angel would attempt to do the same.)

The Commentary of the Matnat Kehunah explains the meaning of the Midrash. The Angel of Death was not there on its ‘usual business’, which would have been to end Avaraham’s life. Rather, the angel came to convince Avraham that he had erred in proceeding with the sacrifice. Its proof was that, as a result, Sarah died. Had Avraham not attempted to sacrifice Yitzchak, Sarah would have still been alive. Avraham was being enticed to regret the great act he had done. Rather than engaging in dialogue with the angel, Avraham, “Rose from before his dead one.”


The issue of how people should relate to ‘deeds gone by’ - actions already performed - is an important study. Teshuva (repentance), which is so basic to Judaism, is all about reexamining past deeds in order to improve upon them in the future. Yet, it is also true that at times, fretting and wallowing in guilt about that which has already taken place is counterproductive. When focusing on past mistakes leads to improving one’s future conduct, it is then a praiseworthy exercise in teshuva. But pointless angst over past actions that cannot be undone should be avoided. (At times, it is difficult to ascertain whether one’s focus on the past is wholesome or not. That, however, is a separate topic.)

Very possibly, the most harmful and lamentable form of regret is that which focuses on mitzvot (commandments of the Torah) and good deeds that were already performed. A mitzvah done is like an accumulated treasure. It yields enormous rewards in this world and the next. Yet, in the 11th chapter of the great work Orchot Tzaddikim (probably 13th century – author unknown) we find that regretting having done a Mitzvah causes the forfeiture of its reward. It is akin to throwing away one’s treasure.

There is also another loss that one sustains when feeling sorry for having performed a mitzvah. The Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) taught that when a person does a mitzvah, a sacred and heavenly spirit descends upon his or her soul and calls for a further performance of good. That Holy Spirit remains unsated until additional good deeds are performed. Conversely, upon sinning, a profane and evil spirit envelops the soul and calls for further sinning. The greater the good or evil performed, the greater the resultant urge for a repeat of the mitzvah or transgression (Even Shlaima 7:6). Regretting past mitzvot presumably neutralizes this spiritual force that would have otherwise led to a life of greater refinement and holiness.

This explains why the Angel of Death appeared to Avraham at this time. The merit accumulated by Avraham through this act was incalculable. To this day, we Jews invoke the memory of the sacrifice of Isaac in our daily prayers, as we ask for G-d’s mercy. Throughout the High Holy Day period, we repeatedly mention the merit of this great act to help tip the Scales of Judgment in our favor. The Angel of Death was seeking to have Avraham feel badly about his attempted sacrifice of Yitzchak. This would have cancelled much, if not all, of the merit earned.

It is nevertheless hard to understand how the angel could have gotten Avraham to regret what he had done. In part, people worry about their past actions because it is often difficult to be absolutely sure that one acted properly. For example, “Did I…honor my parents correctly - apply myself sufficiently in school - study enough Torah last month? Are the religious beliefs that I have espoused correct? Am I raising my children properly?” In Avraham’s case, he sacrificed Yitzchak because of a specifically enunciated command of The Almighty. Furthermore, the rectitude of his actions was later doubly confirmed. After being stopped at the last moment from actually killing Yitzchak, an angel miraculously called out several praises and blessings that Avraham had earned through his faithful devotion to G-d’s command (Parshat Vayerah 22:12, 16, 17, 18). Why then would Avraham ever feel badly about his attempt to sacrifice Yitzchak? Clearly, it was the proper thing to do.

This teaches a valuable human insight. To a greater or lesser extent (depending on the person), all of us are born with a tendency to regret our past actions for reasons that are totally disconnected from objective reality. Even the most refined, intelligent, learned and psychologically robust of individuals (i.e. Avraham) could fall prey to second-guessing praiseworthy deeds for reasons that are totally ungrounded. Left unchecked, this predisposition could develop into a powerful psychic ‘downer’ that can itself give rise to a host of other secondary problems – psychological, social, and even physical.

Unfounded and anxiety-produced regrets can also undermine one’s spiritual being. Regretting mitzvot already performed can rob one of the Eternity that was already earned through those actions. It furthermore diminishes the sacred yearning of the human soul for a more exalted existence. People should therefore always recognize and remember the greatness and merit inherent in the mitzvot and good deeds that they have already performed.



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