JHI Dvar Torah on Parshat Vayechi

PARSHAT VAYECHI - CONCEPTS OF GRATITUDE

Parshat Vayechi recounts that when the Forefather Yaakov’s (Jacob’s) death drew closer, he summoned his son Yosef (Joseph) who was then the second most powerful ruler in Egypt after Pharaoh. Yaakov desired to be buried in Israel with his parents and grandparents, and he asked Yosef to make certain that it would occur. Yosef gave his assurances and then swore to fulfill his father’s wish.

At that point it is written that, “Yisroel (Yaakov) prostrated himself toward the head of the bead” (Vayechi, 47:31).

There are several different classical interpretations of who it was that Yaakov bowed to and why he did so. One approach offered in the Commentary of the Ralbag is that Yaakov bowed down to his son Yosef out of gratitude for what Yosef promised to do. The Ralbag continues that all people should learn from this text to respond in a similar manner when a favor is received.

At first glance, it might appear that this was a simple exercise in saying “thank you” - Yaakov was thanking Yosef. A deeper look at the text, though, uncovers two new Torah principles of gratitude.

Gratitude is normally understood, very simply, as the obligation to repay a favor. But if that is all that it connotes, why did Yaakov act as he did? For one, Yosef’s favor had yet actually occurred – it was only discussed. Furthermore, Yaakov did not actually repay anything; all he did was to bow down.

These questions point to the fact that Torah’s duty to act with gratitude encompasses heretofore unknown dimensions of this ethic:

For one, once it becomes apparent that a person intends to do a favor, that obligation begins. People are responsible to repay acts of kindness - even ones that have not yet been done. For that reason, once Yosef agreed to bury Yaakov as requested, Yaakov immediately acknowledged the kindness.

Another new idea inherent in the Ralbag is that respect is a component of gratitude. Because Yosef offered to help him, Yaakov bowed down to Yosef. Apparently, aside from the obvious responsibility to repay favors in kind, there is a new and special duty to respect the provider of a favor.

This second idea, the duty to proffer respect in exchange for a kindness received, is especially highlighted by the events described in Vayechi. Yaakov was Yosef’s Rebbe, his primary teacher of Torah (Rashi, Vayeshev, 37:3). About Yosef’s (or anyone else’s) obligation to revere a rebbe it is written, “The awe or your rebbe should be like the awe of Heaven” (Avot 4:15) Yaakov was also Yosef’s father, and the duty to honor a parent is one of the Aseret Hadibrot (Ten Commandments). Yosef’s attitude toward Yaakov was thus governed by both of these extreme imperatives of reverence. Yet, because of the obligation to be grateful, Yaakov, the rebbe and the father, bowed down to Yosef, the student and the son.

Anyone who lives among people receives constant favors, especially from family and friends. And being close family does not mean that there is no obligation to repay the countless favors received – Yaakov and Yosef were close family.

Without question, all of one’s relationships would be improved by the overarching ethic that each favor received must be repaid. Viewing a spouse or a parent as someone to whom thousands of favors must repaid would establish a grateful and loving tone that would preclude a great deal of discord.

The words of the Ralbag raise the ethic to an even higher plateau. The notion that “each favor received must be repaid” even includes favors that were not yet done. Additionally, another component of that repayment is the obligation to be extremely respectful.